The "Perfect" Wedding + planning tips!

Assalamualaikum and hi everybody, I am officially a Mrs now! hehehhehe it is such a wonderful feeling, being married to the man you love. After all the planning and the stress, it is finally over. I will definitely say that i miss being a bride and i would definitely do it again - only if it doesn't cost a fortune! Lol. Today i'm just going to write about a few things i learned about the "perfect" wedding. Every girl I know has that perfect picture on how their wedding is gonna look like, whether it is realistic or not, it doesn't really matter. Once you're really planning it then you'll know what kind of wedding you're gonna have, because honestly, weddings are ~really~ expensive. I really do feel that even if you have some extra cash to spend, and you feel like you only need it "just because", you don't really have to spend a lot on your wedding. But some crucial things like the pelamin and dress, even if its just for the day, i totally understand the need to have the perfect dress and pelamin (for me) bcs thats where you'll be most photographed at! I know, with all thats going on social media, the thought of having an insta worthy wedding will definitely cross your mind. Lets be real here girls.  

Some tips from me,

1) Before anything, know what you really want girls. 

What color palette? - 2nd most important thing 

What kind of wedding dress? 

What is your budget? (the most important thing) 

Have everything in order, then only proceed to planning stuffs. Anything that doesn't fit in your budget or your colour palette goes. I mean it. Because there are gazillion choices of things that you have to make, and if you cant make up your mind initially, its easy to drown yourself in all of the wedding things. Plus, its easier to have a theme so that everything will look nice and complement each other.

2) Another point in the know-what-you-really-want tip is that, if you're particular like me, know what kind of shots you want the photographer/videographer to take. For my event, I already have a list of shots that I want, and also the flow of my nikah video, even the song! Haha. Sometimes i feel like it makes you more satisfied with the results rather than just waiting for it from the photographer/videographer. Plus I think they are more than glad to have some input from their client on what kind of results they are expected to deliver. The only shot i didnt get was the bukak langsir shot hahahha

Check out my same-day-edit nikah video, done by my awesome videographer --> @the.azpf on instagram

Solemnization // Fazlan & Alhana from the.azpf on Vimeo.

3) Ditch the wedding cake. Crazy right? I feel that way too. But after being let down by my cake (it was different than what i ordered, and it was so so sooo dry) i feel like it was not worth it. Unless your venue or your wedding planner doesn't provide a dummy cake, i'd suggest you just forgo the wedding cake and just use the dummy. I know they often look tacky but i promise you you wont even care on that day! Just have a normal cake (that you know tastes good) as your hantaran and eat it later that night. You'll thank me later. Plus like i said, everything wedding related is expensive so if you insist of having one, be prepared to fork out atleast RM 600 for a multi tiered cake - and if you can, have a taste test first. I didn't, so that was on me. 

4) Taking a page from my mum's wedding planning here - make a list. of EVERYTHING. This is crucial girls. This is not just a checklist of things to do months before the wedding, it is the guest list, budget list, things to buy list, and also things to bring on the day of wedding list. My mother, she is the master of lists. And even with a super organized mother like her, some of us (read: me) still forgot to bring this one list during my reception. Hehe sorry Ma! so better be safe than sorry! 

5) My sister was honestly surprised that i had time to eat on the day of my Nikah. I often hear brides saying that oh you won't really eat on the day etc. but that wasnt me. I NEED to eat. Lol. So yes, brides, please do not starve yourself. There's nothing to lose anyway. Just keep a spare lipstick with you for touching up afterwards. I even regretted not eating my fruit platter during my reception bcs i was busy doing god knows what. But on my nikah day, I genuinely enjoyed the food bcs I was looking forward to it even before the event. Lol but yes, there is no shame in taking some time to eat as a bride. You'll need that extra energy to smile for the rest of the day anyways.

6) On your nikah day, wear white. This is a no brainer.

7) To save extra, have your nikah at a masjid. This way, you won't have to spend on pelamin and also khemah. You'll save loads. At first my plan was to nikah at Masjid Wilayah, but again, because i was late to book, the eating hall was fully booked. The nikah room was available to use but my mum wanted a proper place for the guests to eat. It is such a hassle to nikah at the masjid and to come home and eat eventho the masjid is not so far from my place. So we ended up doing it at home. I've always wanted to do it at home, but it is way easier to do it at the masjid (read: mess-free house!) but then we ended up still doing it at home. Alhamdulillah, my dream did come true. Although we could save a few thousand ringgits by having it at the masjid, is it not recommended actually due to some girls might be on their period and stuffs, so yeah. But we ended up going back to the masjid for the photoshoot after the nikah! Lol

8) You can always find some service at a great quality but with a lower price. Lol coming from me, i spend days scrolling through instagram to find that perfect makeup, henna and pelamin person at a slightly lower price but with quality results. But then again one of the reasons why i searched high and low for a lower price was bcs the makeup person that i wanted was already booked on my date. I was ready to spend up to RM 750 for one makeup session lol but alhamdulillah i ended up with a great MUA at a better price. Better yet, get a famous MUA to be your friend so that you can get a "friend" price from them! Haha. I had three different MUAs for my 3 events. I didn't really want this but the MUA that i wanted wasn't available for both of my events so i had to hire a different one for my reception. Even from the start I wanted 2 different MUAs, one for nikah and reception, another for bertandang. I even had another re makeup session from the same MUA on the day of my reception for my photoshoot. 

Tip: some MUA give extra discount if you book more than one event so book wisely!  

Another tip: Hire people that are near to you so you won't have to pay extra for transport! I made a mistake on this for my hantaran person. I had to pay quite alot for the transport. That doesn't include the time i had to go all the way to send my hantaran stuffs. But it ended up being super close to my husband's house while his hantaran person lives near to my house. Hehe alhamdulillah on how things work out perfectly in the end.

9) Another thing that I value most during my wedding is the music. I absolutely adore my wedding playlist! Haha this may be masuk bakul angkat sendiri but it’s the little things that made my event special and a little bit more personal to me. Of course, I’ve had help on the songs but there were some songs that I had to have playing during my event and there were also some special songs catered to the specific moments during the event - walk song, cutting cake song, video slideshow song etc. My tip to you is to have something personal that makes the event more unforgettable to you and your guests. 

These are solely my recommendations, if you don't agree, then don't do it. Its as simple as that bcs every girl's dream is different. You might look at another girl's wedding dress and not like it but to her it is perfect. To each their own. Amirite?

All in all, despite some let down, I thoroughly enjoyed being a bride. I loved every single moment of it! I can safely say that I didn't have any major bridezilla moments & that I was a calm bride (quoted by my friends k! not self proclaimed :p) but I did have a mini tantrum when i saw my pelamin the morning of my reception. It was again, not exactly what i wanted. Even until now when I look at the pictures i cringed a bit, but it was done and all I could think of is how happy i was that day. Everything else was perfect. Thank you so much to everyone involved. My parents first and foremost, I couldn’t have done it without them. They are my biggest supporter and I love them so much even way before my husband came into the picture. My bridesmaids, my pengapit even my pregnant sister, everyone was super helpful during the event. I couldn't thank everyone enough. And to everyone who came that i couldn't meet and thank properly, thank you for coming and it was an honor to have you at my wedding! I on the other hand was the only one who contributed the least! Well except for preparing my own doorgift (with help) and actually being there on my wedding day of course lol

If any of you wants the wedding checklist, feel free to comment below with your email and i'll gladly email it to you! 

With all the love in the world,

Alhana

What’s With All This Quinoa Craze? (RECIPE INSIDE!)

And yes of course, I had to try it. And it tastes good! Okay I mean not half bad. The quinoa tastes bland when eaten on its own, like all rice and it’s substitutes, so I had to make it into a stir fry. You should know this about me: I LIVE FOR FRIED RICE. And since I don’t take carbs that often now, it got me thinking why not? Plus I already have quinoa lying around for quite some time now, might as well just use it. So here we go - some snippet of the end result (just an insta video cause I’m too stoked to plate it out and snap a pretty picture of it, maybe next time?) follow me on instagram if you havent! Link at sidebar ------>

Serves 2
15 mins

1 cup quinoa
1 1/2 cup water

1 tsp oil of choice
2 cloves garlic
1/4 inch grated ginger
3 Spring onions, chopped
300 grams sliced beef
Handful of veges - I used cut cabbage, frozen peas and julienned carrots
4 tbsp light Soy sauce
1 tsp Sesame oil
Salt pepper
1 Birds eye chili (optional)
4 tbsp beef broth (optional)


Method:

Run the quinoa with tap water to remove bitterness
Combine quinoa + water in a saucepan (or beef broth, I just added some towards the end for flavour)
Simmer 15 mins w lid closed
When done, fluff up the quinoa and set aside to cool

Heat up oil in a pan
Sauté garlic and ginger
Add beef and green onions, stir for 5 minutes or until beef no longer pink
Combine soy sauce + sesame oil
Add mixture to beef
When beef is cooked, add chili, veges and quinoa
Stir for few minutes to let veges cook (add water/beef broth if dry)
Season with salt and pepper to taste

I wanted to add in eggs but I just love the flavour and colour already so I skipped it. Feel free to add in and use some other veges if you like! My mum told me if the recipe already calls for soy sauce, you can omit the salt but it depends on you really. For my liking the soy sauce is enough so I didn’t add any to mine. I love how the bitter taste of the quinoa perfectly goes along with the beef and also the pepper. I put extra to make it feel like black pepper beef before adding in the quinoa and veges. Have fun trying and comment below if you’ve tried it! Here's to healthy eating! 

Xx Alhana

I'm Getting Married!

in exactly 54 days... you do the math.

OMG i can't believe it I'm actually getting wedding jitters right now. And its too late to change my mind (i mean even from the start its already too late cause yknow theres feelings involved LOL) but like yeah, this is really happening. It's real life guys. And for the past 6 months that I've been working (yes it has been that long) I've been doing mostly mundane stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, basic 830 AM to 530 PM jobs, 5 day work week and its really stressing me out sometimes. I'll tell you why in a bit. Lets get back to the part where I'm excited for my WEDDING YAY!

So basically i haven't really been updating anywhere or anyone about the details of my wedding preparation. I just have an excel sheet, some notes on my phone of all the never ending list of things to do and that's just it. I'll have a monthly update with the fiance on our progress just to make sure we have everything listed, and nothing gets left out you know. The last thing you wanna have on your wedding day is to go - wait where my ___? oh no. nope. not in my wedding preparation book. And plus, i have a suuuper organised mother, who takes care of things down to a T, yes i mean that. But then that also means less work for me cause she basically does half of the planning for me and I well, have just to go along with it. It is kinda exhausting but I stuck with it cause its gonna be my wedding anyway. Not that I didn't have any fun planning my wedding hehe but it was less stressful than I thought it would be. I don't really have any bridezilla moments (yet?) and the only time we're like even remotely close to fighting is just things relating to money. It really is a big issue since my mom is paying for like a huge chunk of my wedding. My power of authority only covers things that I'm paying for which includes gifts for the hubs, my solemnization dais and other teeny weeny stuffs. Lol. Theres more of stuffs that looks like I'm paying from my own pocket, but its also the same pocket that my mum fills in every month so... you get the idea. But really, it's not all bad, because the way i think of it is like the ceremony is hers to begin with. It's to celebrate me getting married as her daughter, not the other way around. I'm just happy that she's finally letting me go on an unsupervised trip with some guy she just knew after all of this is over. LOL

So yes, i'm basically super stoked that i finally get to marry the man of my dreams and head on to the next adventure of my life. Apart from that, remember all the things i said about being kinda stressed about work at times? Well the wedding plans has definitely helped with some of the stress, but I've really been thinking of venturing out to other ways to fill my time rather than aimlessly scrolling through social media just as a mean of "resting". I'm even thinking of starting my own YouTube channel! Wait for it, you might not know whats there to come. I really feel tired living this way, it really feels like i'm not living my best life. But I don't really have anything to complain about since I don't have to pay for rent and transportation but thats just how I feel. Hope that you guys don't take this the wrong way. Hehe

Well its almost 530PM (lol i'm blogging at work since i completed mine for the day) and its time to head home. Wish me luck guys! Until next time my dear readers, I love you all xxx

Alhana

Manpower

For all of those who know, for the last month I have been working with a recruitment company. I loved every single moment of it. No lie. I totally love it. Obviously there have been days when I first started where I'll be like "what am I doing here, it's not even in my field." But I decided to go on with it and commit for the 6 months that I am (supposedly) contracted for. Within the first week itself I fell in love with recruitment and enjoyed going to work every single day (except for the fact that I have to wake up early, I mean who enjoys that?!) Anyway, safe to say that working with Manpower was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. 

My boss(es) are uber cool, and I feel so supported and welcomed from day one. I constantly feel uplifted and inspired to perform well in my job. Colleagues are fun, full of energy and the job is even more so. I get to scout for potential candidates, screen resumes, talk to them and even made friends. The feeling that you get when one of them gets hired... priceless. I feel like I'm finally contributing something to the world.

On top of that, there's casual Fridays - which I absolutely LIVE for, and you're technically working in a mall, which is super awesome (read: unlimited lunch ideas). 

The only downside is, today is my last day working with them. I had to leave due to reasons, you know (I don't want to mention them here). But believe me when I say, I didn't wanna leave. Nope. I really wished that I am not in this position right now. But I really had to do this for myself, and I totally owe this to myself. 

To the company, I appreciate every single thing that you have done for me and I hope nothing but the best for the company in the future. One day I will definitely look back and proudly say that, that is the company I first worked for and helped me to be who I am now. Wait for it. 

Yours,

Alhana

Why You Can't Afford to Be Lazy

You can't really afford to be lazy, not even one second of our life but we do it anyway, right? Guilty right here *raises hand up*

Ok but first, let me just say this, its been almost a year since my last post and a lot of things happened. Well it has been a year... Lol and the presence of social medias led to people letting things out there instead of typing it all away here but why not? People are still blogging you know. && deep down i still have my soft spot for my blog right here. But so far so good alhamdulillah I am done with my masters, ready to jump in the working life bandwagon anytime soon! Hehe but yes since i have some free time here, and having these free time makes me realise that you don't actually have any time at all... because there's just so much things to doooooo so ok let me start.

As i was saying, we as humans can't afford to be lazy. Especially if you're a girl. Well that doesn't mean that if you're a guy you can be lazy, just that you can be a bit lazier than us girls. Why, you ask? Bcs we apparently have dozens more things to do than you! hahaha i sound a bit feminist there but okay okay maybe i don't really know the world of guys and their fantasy football. But here's some of the reasons why we need to be up on our feet almost 24 hours in our day (both men and women okay);

1) wake up: shower and for most of us its at the crack of dawn when we're just about to enter the sweet sweet world of dreams, sigh... another day in paradise! Off to work. before that, BREAKFAST! no breakfast for the lazy people! and its so easy to get carried away and just grabbing the nasi lemak when you're supposed to be watching your calories... ehem. Which is still nonexistent if you're lazy to go out and search for the nasi lemak but please, don't skip your breakfast. Have at least a banana. Your body will thank you. Don't get me started on the getting ready time. We girls take forever to get ready. For some girls who are confident enough to go out without makeup, I salute you *claps*. But for us other girls, we need the extra time to prep ourselves, iron our clothes, make sure that it is matching with the rest of our attire and it takes a lot of energy and you definitely cannot be lazy to look nice. Hello, you keep looking at all those girls and celebrities on Instagram and be like "aww they're so pretty" so why can't you just spend some extra minutes on yourself so that you can look as pretty as them too? Well for guys, you just have your hair. BUT I know some guys who take way longer than they should on their hair hahaha well if it makes you look good so what

2) if you're among the fortunate and don't have a 9 to 5 job, well you can have a few extra minutes of sleep and then you gotta be up as well because who will prepare breakfast for the rest of your family? IT'S YOU! especially if you're married with kids. You will definitely have to wake up early and prepare the kids. They need a lot of your time. Man, having kids is no joke. But nothing beats #momlife am i right? lol if you're not a mom probably have to send your sisters and brothers to school or prepare breakfast for your parents and sibs who are working haha exhibit A right here (but i can go to sleep afterwards so yay me)

Moving on after breakfast, 3) Preparing for lunch. Fortunately nowadays, healthy food are easy to come by. There are lots of food deliveries out there that can bring you food straight to your work, so we can afford to be a bit lazy there, but if you think about it, we can't be lazy, thats why we have food delivered. If not we will probably go out and eat somewhere. Your job is too important or too busy to leave during lunch. But you obviously need to take a break and go pray and this is where it gets hard. Remember all your makeup that you put on this morning? Yes its coming off and you don't wanna look like a zombie after you pray so girl you gotta put it back on. Yes. So much effort. No time to be lazy here.

For the moms with kids, maybe you have a bit of time here where the kids will take a nap but that is when you can clean the house. You do not want to live in a house so dirty and dusty but you can't afford to hire a maid all the time! So chop chop, go and get the vacuum. And although you can say that it only takes like what 20-30 minutes (for one area of your house) but it is YOUR HOUSE. Obviously you want it clean so if you're the OCD type, you will definitely take more time than that. My mum always say do not do your work like a housemaid. What she means is, although the housemaids job is to clean the house, thats not her house. So she probably won't clean it as best as she could you know. Do you get what I mean? 

4) After work: dinner... and maybe exercise. This is the hard part. We can easily eat non-stop but when it comes to exercising, ugh. Y SO LAZY. But quoting Kendal Jenner in her 73 Questions interview, "this body doesn't do itself" so you need to move your lazy ass to the gym and work out.  If not, do it first thing when you get home. For the super goers, you can try waking up early to get a fresh start for your day! Atleast 30 minutes. Again, your body will thank you. I know its easier said than done, and i myself have problems sticking to my workout routine, but once you see results, you'll be thankful you ain't lazy. 

5) Finally home. Nope, you can't sleep yet. I know you feel like your every is hitting zero, and fast. Trust me , i've been there. MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS BODY. You need to remove your clothes and go shower. After all the work and exercise, you wanna sleep in that condition? Please don't. You will feel worse tomorrow so you need to shower and then do the laundry, and then if you're cooking at home, do the dishes, wipe the hob, and finally almost there, you have to clean up your face and brush your teeth and and floss it and be pretty so that you will look presentable for your husband at night LOL ok not really for him but you get the idea right? I mean who has all that time? sometimes i can barely take off my jeans and i'll be all Zzz already hahaha Not forgetting the Korean skin care regime for your face. 10. freaking. steps. I mean WOW no wonder their face are so flawless and pretty oh well a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do 

think about it. being a girl, you have to take care of your body, your hair (even with hijab ok you need to look good for yourself, husband is optional :p), your face, your nails, your attire, your smell && everything including how you speak eat talk hahahahahaha but its super fun being a girl, you get to dress up and act girly teehee

PHEW

BUT THATS NOT ALL. these are just basics if you are living a normal life. Well, face it none of us are normal. Cause we got loads of other stuff to do. Like blogging, or some of you who read, or bake or do some extra odd jobs so you need to fill that extra hours with work too! And yes cleaning up the toilet as you go, throwing out the trash, piling up the clean dishes from yesterday, hanging up the clothes when its ready from the machine, preparing breakfast for tomorrow (so you finally can have something to eat in the morning), folding clothes from yesterday, planning what to wear tomorrow, buying groceries, paying the bills... and the list goes on and on and on. Not to mention if you have a big event coming up like a birthday party, a bachelorette party, an engagement, a wedding, you need to find time to plan all those! And your calendar, you need to get it sorted, make sure you get the dates right, whether or not you tally with your partner/spouse, keeping up with all the non work related unread emails. Man it's hard to be human. 

Enough ranting for now because i know by now you definitely get what i mean, right? Being unemployed for the time being gives me a whole new meaning of time. Once i start working, i know i will not have this much time anymore. So there will be extra pressure to do things i used to do when everybody else is working during the limited time that everybody else also have. Wait, i think the last sentence doesn't really make sense hmm

And blogger seriously need some emoji love right about now. I feel so lifeless typing without emoji lol ok bye now

pls pray that alhana gets a job soon thank you

xx alhana

Looking Back

2015 was a great year. Well the ending might seem a little sad, but i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be right now. In the UK and technically all alone. Being alone is not bad, it's actually rewarding to the soul. But I'm not gonna touch on that. Bcs eventhough I am all alone, i'm contented with my life. And i'm perfectly happy with that. 

At the end of the year 2014, I said to myself, I'm going to make a project that'll last the whole year. A 365 days project, something that I can be disciplined in doing. And my project was to snap at least a photo a day and save it so that i can train myself to photograph things more. And i said why not, since the year 2015 is the year that a lot of significant things happened in my life. Alhamdulillah! 

To name a few: I graduated from UTP (5 awesome years), my sister got married and now carrying a little bundle of joy inside of her (isn't that just amazing mashaAllah!), I went to the UK to pursue my masters (it's the dream alhamdulillah), my convocation (one of the best days of my life), and i lost the person that i thought i was gonna spend the rest of my life with (sounds a bit dramatic eh?). Everything was planned except for the last one. Allah knows better and i believe that He is the best planner :)

Who did i try to lie when I thought that I was just gonna be gone for a year and when I come back next year it'll all be the same? That i'm just gonna pick up stuffs right where i left it? The moment I made the decision to come here I knew that things aren't gonna be the same anymore. And the events that came after I left proved it. It's been what, 3 and half months since I left home? (not counting the 5 brief days of me coming back) and I simply can't believe that i've been away from my mum for this long. OK i'm not one to always stay at home all this while but I usually go back every once a month or so during high school and my uni days. And to think that i'll still be away from her for the next 9 months or so? May Allah protect her and my family back home. It's going to be super hard, but i'll have to manage, like i always do :)

I once said to this person, one year is not that long. Just pretend that i'm going to take a year off off life. Easier said than done eh? The break up broke me. But it made me realise who i am as a person without having to have these labels on me. If anything, it helped me connect better with Allah, the one *person* (can i say that?) that is always with me no matter what. But i'm not giving up on love, obviously :p

Albeit all the things that has happened, I can say that it made me more matured and a family person. I have never been this clingy to my parents (esp my mum) before and i wonder why i havent been this way from the very start. It'll definitely save me from a whole lot of troubles but i don't regret anything that has happened. Coming here just may be the best decision i have ever made (for now :p). I get to leave my bubble and extend my circle of friends. It is truly a blessing just to be here, alhamdulillah for that. 

Well here's to 2016, the year where people will start asking questions and i can answer it with THIS YEAR! I can't wait for 2016, i'm sure it's gonna be amazing inshaAllah :)

Love, Alhana x

three and one half

write it all

write it all down

bcs atleast when it all ends

you had prove that it actually happened 

and changed your life forever

x

i found this

either you will be aware of your happiness

and enjoy it with all your senses

or you will ignore that and look elsewhere for what you think you are lacking

in which case you will fall prey to complaining and discontent

in that case, wait until this present becomes past

then you will weep and realise

how happy you were at that time

but you did not realise it

now you have nothing left but fading memories

i think i wrote this, or i copied it from somewhere. either or, cherish the happy moments in your life while it lasts. dont take this life lightly, as you'll regret it when you're older

xx

Fiery Hands

Something happened for the first time yesterday. My hands were like on fire, and I can't stay still. I can feel the heat radiating through my fingers yet other people can't even see my pain. It was excruciatingly painful, I can't even come close to expressing it. It's like a hundred it you ask me to rate it from 1-10. I tried everything, from water to oil, even detergent, toothpaste, shower gel, any liquids you name it I've tried it, it won't go away. Finally after hours of trying (and a whole lot of ice!) it finally died down and my hands are mine again. Alhamdulillah. It was all a battle to test my mental ability, whether I am strong enough to overcome the pain, bcs its just internal pain, it's not a wound that is exposed or bleeding. And I said to myself, if I can go through that, I can go through anything, if Allah wills it. 

Darn you extra hot chilies.

Now who's up for some sambal? :B

xx alhana

Past, Present and Future

There are reasons why i love the people that i love, be it in the past, present, or the future. 

To the people i loved in the past, though i might not love you now, or as i would like to say it, i might not have the chance to show it now, i would like to say thank you. Thank you for the chance for loving you, and I'm sure that loving you have given me a chance if not to be better as a person, atleast being better in loving someone by learning how to love you. And by that being said, it's an honor to have someone like you to own a piece of my heart (tho that's not how it's supposed to be) and cross path with. May you be well, and find love that is true and good for you. I may never love you again, or love you the way you want me to, or simply just because we are not meant to end up with each other, but your face, or just your name will certainly bring up if not a memory, a ping in my brain. 

To the people i love now, i pray that this heart is capable of loving you in the many many years to come. Hopefully, this love of mine is enough for you to stay and not go astray as this heart loves, it loves with all its might. And because of this love came from a mere human being, it is not excused from making mistakes. Bear with me and may you experience a love that you have never felt before with anyone else, and that is truly my aim, if not making you happy, that is the one thing i would like to achieve with you. For i hope you will be my only love from now on, and i hope you feel the same. I pray that you don't get jealous of my past loves, and also my future loves, because now is all that matters, and right now, i am in love with you. It is truly wonderful, to be loved by someone else wholeheartedly, even if you have been loved by someone else before, every love feels different in some way. And i hope i made the most difference in your life by loving you. 

To the people i will love in the future, i may not know you now, or i may just dislike you a little bit now (it's mean to use the word hate), but i know when i love you, i will love you wholeheartedly. We will love each other with happiness, kindness and strength. The love we have will make us go "why haven't we met before?" or "why didn't we meet sooner?". And believe me when i say if we did meet before, we wont love each other as much as we will when we finally meet. Certainly Allah works in mysterious ways. He put together two hearts when He feel like its time and it will be perfect. So bear with the time, be patient, and our time will come. If not now then when? Let us make the question linger in our mind for a little while shall we? 

We learn as we grow, and as we grow, we love. May Allah bless all the love that we had, we still have, and will have. 

Alhana Sabrina xx