This Is My Confession

This is my 200th post.

Im using my roommate's laptop. Without permission. Haha. Will ask her later.

Im trying to minimize the usage of words in this post. No reason.

Recent events ? Foundation May '10 UTP Grand Dinner. Held at the not-so-grand Heritage Hotel. Food ? Quite good. Performance ? Superbb. What else ? Overall, I shall say it was fun, although i didn't won best dress this time ;( HAHA but have no fear, I got lucky this time ;) 121. Lucky number that is. Although I may have slipped one inappropriate word or so. Oops, sorry.

Recap: Nasyid, sang the song Damai by Yusuf and gang. Yaman Boys w their traditional dance. The Lazy Song by Hazim and Chak + The Bruno Crew. Effingly funny. Singkong dan Keju by Azam Ozil, Kailong, Faris Al-Kuyy, Syah Hafiz, Izzul Asyraf and who else eh ? Hmm. Then lucky draw :) There were 10 of us. Then poem recitation by Acap, Angie and some foreigners and others I can't remember. Emcee dance by Pradeep and Kelvinder Singh. Some montage video. It was really good. Awesomely creative people. I think that's about all. There's no singing or dancing. Oh yes, UTP song and Petronas Song :)

The photo shoot session was awesome. I love it ! Plus the fact that there are so many guys in BAJU MELAYU full set complete w samping and songkok. Tuck in okay ;) Not to mention the guys in their suits, Amir and Faris. Oh wait, Andres too. He won the best dressed for male okay. As for female, Farah Bistamam and Rozanna Roslan won :) Took photos w some special people, friends I love<3



Later that night, with the sleepy eyes, we watched the Barca vs Man U game. Although the screen was inverted and Man U lost, I still had a great time. One of the best nights. Ever. Period.

Okay. Wait. Turns out that I didn't manage to minimize the words in this post. Ahaha, so what ? Alright. Have to do my tutorial for IMSE :S Catch ya later, alligator !

maxime in the 'rejected' blue kebaya

smile by avril lavinge

My Pride and Joy

This ain't a love story, but it could be if you want it to be. This is just a mere fiction, or non-fiction if you choose to believe it. I just wanna say what's inside my heart, things that nobody will ever know, and how happy or hurtful it can ever be. Despite the sadness I've experienced, there are obviously some plus points to it. But still, the sorrow is almost unbearable. If i am not as mighty as steel, i could break down and crumble every single second because everything just reminds me of him. Let's start with three letters that doesn't matter at all to most of you.

JGQ

For some, they may know. but it is more than just him. It's not the love or memory or whatever we had done to each other - and fyi, there's never love anyway. It's just me. It's just him. It's just the surroundings. Infatuation, yes ? The bigger term is UPAG. Yes, i am being slightly public here, but who cares ? It's for my own good, quitting or backing down or withdrawing but it is surely a big decision I've ever made for myself. It's a very big deal for me. If it weren't for my mood swings that day, this post wouldn't even exist. I've never been happier here because they are also my pride and joy. The reason of my smile. Ahh, such fun we had. I know i'll hold on to this the moment i stepped into the room. But i prayed to Allah the Almighty to calm myself and believe that there are bigger things than this He has plan for me.

Let me ask you a few questions.

Have you ever loved doing something so much that it never bothers you even if you are spending every hour of your day doing it ? Have you ever smiled so much in a day that your jaw hurts ? Have you ever laughed so much that you feel like a six packs coming ? Have you ever felt so nervous for something you know you will get it right in the end ? Have you ever met someone who can pick you up without trying and making you fall in just seconds ? Have you ever felt so lucky that you've met a certain someone in your life ? What do you feel when that person said your name out loud just to ask about the time ? Or when he stopped his car just to give you a ride and you sat in the front seat ? Have you ever wanted something so badly in life you feel like collapsing if you didn't get it ? What do you feel if something that you dearly love was taken away from you ? What do you feel if the thing you love the most was not taken away from you, instead you have to let it go because that's the right thing to do ?

You may say i'm exaggerating, in fact i most certainly am. The truth is i am overwhelmed. I never thought that i could ever felt this way. I may have seen it, but what about the others ? If I've ever learned one thing for this almost 19 years of living, this is it: A sin is more than it if you do something knowing that it is a sin. If you didn't know, maybe it could be an exception. You may ask, if i loved it so much, why did i let it go ? Will it come back ? No, it will not. I can make it come back, yes. But there will be consequences. I plan to, but not in the near future. The excitement will still be there, but it won't be the same without him. I almost said that to him but fear quickly changed my mind. Age do matter, but there's just too much complication if it were to continue. The funny thing was i thought he's a girl the first time i heard his name. Memories, memories. This will soon fade, or not. But he will, eventually, because his time is up.

Hey, at-least i made the number one person in my life relieved. And i don't have to lie or be invisible anymore. That's just it. It may seem small, i know it will bring a lot of meaning to me in the future.

There's 3.98 to catch and i've only 24 hours to do it everyday. It's hard, but even w the hectic schedule, someone could do it, why not me ? Even though i really think i cannot reach that high, maybe 3.87 could be ;) Haha. First laugh. First smile.

It's just so hard. I hope i've written enough to make you readers understand. But, one cannot truly understand, one can only come close as the heart is a book that only the owner knows how to read.

Remember dear readers, everyday is like a page in your book of life, so, write it well :)

Torn in two, she lies awake
The moon lights up the room like day
Another night she spends alone
Without his touch her skin's so cold

The blood that's running through her veins,
With every beat there's no escape,
Lost in everything she trusts,
Still can't seem to get enough.

Even though the world she loves,
It won't ever be the way it was,
And his heart of stone left hers breaking.

Every night she cries and dies a little more each time,
Say you love me (you love me),
Nothing left inside,
Say you love me,
And the silence will set her free.

Memories they take her back,
Every moment fades to black,
Every kiss and every taste,
She wishes time would ease the pain.

Even though the world she loves,
It won't ever be the way it was,
And her heart is weak, her hands are shaking.

Every night she cries,
And dies a little more each time,
Say you love me (you love me),
Nothing left inside,
Say you love me,
And the silence will set her free.

And every night she cries.

I don't know if I'll ever make this right,
Cause I am just so broken by the bitterness of loneliness,
And I'm so scared of this.

I don't know if I'll ever make this right,
Cause I am just so broken by the bitterness of loneliness,
And I'm so scared.

Even though the world she loves,
It won't ever be the way it was,
And his heart of stone left hers breaking.

Every night she cries,
And dies a little more each time,
Say you love me (you love me),
Nothing left inside,
Say you love me,
And the silence will set her free.

alhamdulillah; maxime

all about him by auburn

The Housewives Story

You know the TV series Desperate Housewives ? If you don't, lemme tell you abt them briefly. They're a bunch of people, families or married couples mostly old, living in Wisteria Lane. Idk why they call themselves Desperate Housewives at first, but yeah the name tells us everything. But what differs them with the normal housewives is that i seldom see them carrying around the grocery bag or just sitting around cleaning the house because they are simply that rich but they are not working - most of them. The husbands do the job for them. And plus they have all sorts of dramas going on, and watching it is as depressing as watching Gossip Girls. Funny, exciting, but depressing. LOL.

I just had a fun morning today. As usual, im out buying groceries. I reached the supermarket at about 10, which is the time that they normally open. I went to the wet market section and i heard 'Cheap prawn, only RM12.99 per kilogram' Ha. That's super cheap. So i went there to find that all of the good ones were almost taken by this lady. I struggled to get the good ones - or just what's left of it, but i managed to get half kilos. Its okay but i sniggered when i discovered that that particular lady took one bag full of it, and two other bags with half of it. Don't you have the tolerance for others ? I know it is cheap but it doesn't give you the privilege to come and grab all of the good ones and disappear. Later then i figured out that she bought a trolly full of maggi, too. Maybe she's the boss of a store or making a kenduri or sthg, idk.

Later after going back home and back to carrefour (because i forgot to buy the greens, hehe) i saw that that had refilled the prawns and i felt glad for the people who actually managed to get the good ones. Then after, i went to Wangsa Walk to buy the Pirates ticket to watch tonight. And guess what, the line was awfully long, and almost all of the shows today were full. Same goes for Nur Kasih. Im surprised :O Thank God we were watching Pirates 3D so i managed to get good seats :) But yeah, people in my neighborhood plus the Keramat, Sri Rampai and Setiawangsa area will come here to watch movies or eat i guess cause its near. But the ticket here is slightly more expensive than KLCC. dunno why.

I just had a chat w my parents just now on why so many people are coming here to Wangsa Walk. Before when it was starting to build, many people assumed that it won't be this big, you know, the number of people coming and all. Just like KLCC. but KLCC's different, yeah cause its one of the iconnic buildings in the world. But Wangsa Walk ? It doesn't have that much branded stores either. Just because its near i guess. Just because of that :)

Going back to UTP tomorrow. Can't say i love it but yeah im totally looking forward to it ;) Its been fun, 2 weeks without classes and all, but they're also my pride and joy. Hehe. Loads of story to tell, and loads to hear from them. and undergrad's starting, so its gonna be a whole new experience :D Uuuu. Can't wait ! I peeked at the timetable yst and looks like i don't have lectures on Tues morning. but maybe i have lab so i have to wake up early also :/ Bummer. Ahh. Wtv it is, i am so looking forward to it yaa. And there's totally will be class oh Friday so my weekend is back to 2 days cause before my weekends starts on Thurs evening can you imagine that :D haha

P/s: Don't get mad, and burst to people about it. You'll get washed out. Like me right now. Ah im so tired. But later i have to go out again to buy my mum's Women's Weekly. I wanna drive cause its less tiring than walking. Heh.

Maxime

runaway love by justin bieber

Red Yellow Blue

Today was fun. Although my plan did not work out, I managed to be alive until now. Alhamdulillah. Although the failed plan did buy me more myself time.

Okay, the plan was for me to go to klcc at lunch hour and meet up w my dad to go and open up a bank account. During the session, I told my dad about mcD's offer today: Buy 1 free 1 mcChicken but you have to print out the coupon if you want to claim it. And guess what, after the session was over, the man whom i dealt with asked me, 'You want McDonalds ? Here.' At his hand was the mcD coupon, printed out on an A4 paper. I think its hilarious, the fact that i spoke abt it to my father and the guy gave one to me cause he heard it. That's pure luck. Haha.

I plan to catch the 1345 movie ,Something Borrowed w my friend, but he didn't show up so i aimed the 1400 movie, which is Paul. That didn't work out either cause my time was consumed buying a new Celcom number further away from KLCC so, I watched Priest at 1500. Just because I was bored okay. Haha.

I love watching movies, so i didn't mind. Plus it is a Wednesday, so it only costs me RM8 for the movie ticket. Well, Priest was okay. I dare not say it was very good, but it was not boring either. But it is the kind of movie that people would watch it once only. If any of the people do watch it twice, i can say, it is because of the actor in it: Cam Gigandet. He is just so pleasant to look. For example in Burlesque, and what else ? Yes, The Roommate. And much more. But in Twilight, he's not that good looking cause he has long hair. Haha. But seriously, I don't like guys with long hair. I really don't.

Then i did some more shopping. Ahh, retail therapy really works on me. As the quote from Blair in Gossip Girl goes 'The person who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop' I agree w that. But literally, money can not buy happiness because you yourself can make you happy. It depends on you.

Before I went to TGV just now, i was walking behind a bunch of working people and i overheard them talking abt deciding which place to eat. The voice sounds so familiar. Apparently, they are my staff at Petroscience. I recognize them all. There were 5 of them. There were K.Nensi, K.Ummu Hani, K.Nuyun, K.Ida and Abg Lan. I wanted to say hello and ask abt them and work but im just not that type of person. If i were Helmie, i'm sure that he will do it. He's not afraid to talk to anyone. But not me. Ahh, such bad habits. Not good.

Okay I know this blog is getting boring. Yeah, because its all abt my life now. I wanted to make this blog magical actually. Full of words, twisted and unique sentences. Full of opinions expressed in my own self way. Interesting to read yet very long to bear. That's why just now when i went to Kino, I felt that sense of missing. I missed those times where my brain is full of words, wanting to come out. Missed having time to read a fiction book, just letting my imagination wander, creating new setting for my brain to go to. Now the words do come, but i don't really have the time to sit down and pour it out on a piece of paper. Sad, but true. But the wish still stays. I plan to publish a book one day. You just wait.

Enough babbling. Later alligator.

Dearest friends, I really hope you'll do well in every single thing that you are in right now. Know that I'll always support you, no matter what. You people can do it :))


maxime

Hair by Lady Gaga

Of Fast and Furious

Today was fun. Decided to go out at 830 in the morning actually, together with my mum but i decided to sleep. Heheh :B But eventually i did woke up, but it was 1030 by then. Then i rolled on the bed for a while and suddenly realised that it is already 1130. I stood up, took a shower and got ready. I ate some food first then Im off to KLCC.

It's been a while since i went there, oh wait, not really, its just 2 weeks. but yeah, it feels good to be back here, without anything to worry about. :D First up, CIMB bank. haha, my pocket's empty when i arrived. Then straight to uniqlo, only to find that the fleece jacket is no longer in sale. Sobsss, Pity Farah, cause i was about to get her that for her birthday. Then i went to Zara, checked out the neon colour cardigan there but no. Went to Topshop, also no. Then back to uniqlo to find a pink tee with stars on it only for ___, haaa won't say the price here. But its quite affordable, and cute, i can assure you :D

Next, went to Kinokuniya to search for a good book for Faris. Decided to buy a non-fiction book about gadgets for him, but i think it's not necessary for him cause he's too good at those stuffs, why read a manual ? Went to the entrance where thay usually put the top 10 fiction and non-fiction books, only to find that is it not there anymore. Bummer. The this idea came: just buy him an international bestseller, he'll love it. So there, I bought him The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I haven't read it, but some of my friends told me that it was goood. His aother book is also good to, A Thousand Splendid Suns.

After paying for the book, I walked past by Stadium I can't help but to notice, Vans shoe for sale. And im like Whaaaaat ?! OMG 20 30 and even 40% off ! I must get the shoe. by this holiday. Hehe, will tell Ayah bout this :B Then I ate Taco at Papillo and Chicken Sandwich at the Norwegian Sandwich. It comes with a soup ! IT IS GOOD I TELL YA. MUST TRY ! Haha.

Much more to tell since i've been long gone, but fear not, i am back. 2 weeks holiday baby ! Anyone who wanna ask me out, please do. Haha. Take care xx

Oh yea, met fellow work mates from Petroscience. Oh how i miss working. Mama told me to work but im too lazy. wanna enjoy my holiday. Hihi, maybe next long holiday perhaps ? Hihi.

I took a photo with Orlando Bloom; maxime

rolling in the deep by adele