Worthy

I always have given this a thought. And it seems that forgiveness on its own isn't enough. You have to be given time to recover, and make yourself worthy again of the crime that you committed, if you have time. And more importantly, huge trust in Allah. Bcs only He knows, whats truly going on. Only He knows whats in the deepest of hearts.


And deep down, i'll always question:


am I worthy of being held on to?

Am I worthy as a friend or daughter?

am I worthy, even a little bit, or even at all?


I guess, everybody needs to have self assurance a little bit more than they used to, to survive in this world. One of the hardest thing is to pretend that you don't feel something that you clearly do.

Because harsh reminders work, always work. Thank you.

xx sabrina

Trying isn't enough apparently

If nobody ever loves me
I think i'll be okay
Bc i know that He loves me
And that is more than enough

Reading Maria Elena's latest blogpost --> (peliks.blogspot.com) makes me teary eyed. MashaAllah, so beautiful. If only i could be like that. But no, I am thankful that I am born with Islam, and do not have to go to the extend that the sister went through. But being a Muslim born is what most of us took advantage of and look lightly towards. I admit sometimes I only remember Allah when I am sad, but i'll try by best to remember him when I am happy too! Or maybe, at all times. Because He never really forgets us or else we'll be dead by now. And we won't be having all those kinds of luxury that we're living in right now. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

sometimes when i look at other people committing sins
i think to myself
maybe they're committing sins due to ignorance
but im committing it with knowledge

Astaghfirullah

May our imaan grow from day to day, ameen

Hanna xx

Love For

What do you love? Who do you love? Doesn't really matter ey? But I know one thing for sure, if you love someone/something, you want the whole world to know on how amazing the person/thing is so that the world can love it too. Not share the person, of course (if a person is the case).

For example right now.

I have this tingling feeling of excitement whenever I see a bunch of words perfectly jumbled together and forming a perfect sentence, or even a word itself. I see happiness in a sentence that creates not just meaning to me, but other meanings to different people. I love how the words made me feel. Sometimes I just feel like tweeting beautiful sad sentences but I'm just afraid people will just mistaken me by thinking i'm being emotional at the moment but I'm just trying to convey the message on how beautiful I think the sentence is. I think sentences formed with emotions create more impact than others that are just, written. (Maybe that's why I just love poetry)


"How can I fight for something I no longer feel"

Look at that. So, so beautiful.


alhanasabrina xx

Love After Marriage

I was browsing thru Instagram, and I came across a friend of a friend's profile. I don't even know her, but I do know that she got married earlier this year and she's just 21 years old. And she had this picture w a caption "love after marriage is simply amaaazing". 

And that triggered something. 

Love after marriage is not only practiced by us muslims, but those w strong beliefs in their religion too, no matter what religion they're in. Because no one actually perceived love before marriage as something good for you but yet many people practice it nowadays, myself included. It's just to avoid incidents that can lead to all the social problems that the world doesn't need anymore.

I know, not many people can truly accept the fact that you are going to marry a stranger, but i somehow find that somewhat inviting. Like there's so much fun in actually figuring out your spouse after you got married, and you can do everything together cause it's well, halal! 

Because I believe, if both of you are meant for each other, good for each other, love will come along eventually, even if you despise him before. If it ever happens to you, just profile him first, and after making your decision, do solat istikharah and inshaAllah everything will run smoothly for you :) After all, love for the sake of Allah is the best love there is. (And i also believe love comes from spending a lot of time together, so yeah)

In another note, maybe its us, living in the modern day era so we can actually not socialize so much but still can get to know our future spouse a little bit before getting married. And hopefully to all those gentlemen out there, please do not approach a woman without even intending to marry her. Please?

There's actually pros and cons of this topic, and i'm not saying if you don't do it, then you're wrong, no. All i'm saying, if knowing the person you want to marry beforehand will reduce the likelihood of both of you not getting along after marriage, why not? But of course, everything has limits. And may Allah put it in our hearts to remember it. InshaAllah. 

May our hearts and imaan be stronger during Ramadhan. 

Alhanasabrina :)

Together

I now know that love and happiness must come together. One shall not exist without the other. I mean, you can't just hold on to love without happiness and you can't go on just feeling 'happy' about it, without love lurking around somewhere.  

Oh, life. 

Hanna xx

Stranger

Your face is so familiar yet I don't know who you are
Are you an angel, or a shining star?
You appeared in my dreams
You were there along the creaks
Is this as crazy as it seems?

Your voice sounds so smooth yet I can't recall your name
Cause when I listen, it all sound the same
Are you my subconcious?
Are you my other half?
Or are you a demon, waiting on behalf

I passed by you yet I don't see you
Like a shadow, lurking behind the moon
Could this be the end? Will I see you again?
And will I get to know you
Like I think I did, once so subdue

Arms so strong carrying me yet I don't feel a thing
Are you the one running or am I the one falling?
Like lightning you came and the same as you leave
And I watched you change, with a slight heave


by Alhana

Sweet stuff

Found this somewhere

"Forever and a day"

A girl can always dream, can she? :)

Hikhik cheeeesy post on a Tuesday 

alhanasabrina xx

Of the late

I haven't been doing much thinking really. Well, being the thing that I used to do the most, it came as a shock to me on how I can actually not think too much.

Nope, not at all.
Not about life and its mysteries.
Not about feelings and its complications.
Not about formulas and its theories.

Only, I think the few are on my mind of course are this one competition and him. Mostly. Kinda bad if you ask me. I think i'm so occupied with stuffs until i've no time to actually cater to my needs. Not that it matters a lot if you ask me.

It's just good, not having to worry about something until you feel like your brain is about to wreck. But tests are coming up so it's kind of the same. Lol

I need to read. Bye!

Key: you

Saying and quotes may mean a lot of things, but mainly it is to teach us. And aren't human such intricate beings? The ones who He had made each different on the inside, yet similar on the outside. I believe that, no matter what other people say or do, what you say or do gives the most impact in your life. 

Because i believe, in every problem, there are plenty of right answers, but only 1 which is closest to the real answer. But if the person choose to believe in some other solutions, so be it. It is his choice. His stand. And that goes a long way. Even in Islam, there are 4 schools of fiqh! Not saying that only 1 is correct, all are correct, it just differs in opinions and point of views. 

To what he believes tastes good, he'll stick to that eventho there's something better. 

To what he hates so much, he'll hate forever eventho there's still good in the thing he hates

So what am i trying to say exactly? Things tht we believe in, paths and choices that we choose, it doesnt mean that it's the truly ultimate truth. Try and look around, maybe you'll find something better. Maybe you'll find something new to deal with your problems. You nee to reset your beliefs some times. Even countries need election, so what more you? 

I always tell myself something on repeat if i wanna get it stuck inside my head. Maybe the way i deal things were different, and now in the process of becoming better. Maybe the way i think before is the same and mundane, and now in the process of changing the way that I think. It is hard, because how can you exactly change something that is so hardwired on you that you can't even see it? 

But please, by all means. Stick to your principle if you want. I myself am finding it hard to believe what i'm repeating to myself every single day. But i need to try and suck it in, because i wanna believe that it's the best for me :)

InshaAllah

alhanasabrina

3rd point. Remember? (from the last 2 posts, lol)

It's about the guilt trip actually. Just, be thankful that you actually have guilt trips. Cause if it were to mean anything, it would mean that you actually have a heart. And that heart of yours, comes with feeling in it. And that's good. In a way, those guilt trips can also mean that you still have some imaan in you. So have faith, don't ever let go. Don't lose faith in yourself. More importantly, do not lose faith in Allah, for He is closer than you think ;) As sister Yasmin Mogahed said,

And mashaAllah, how true is that? But of course, we don't want to wait until our heart is dead then only we revert back to Allah right?

And that is my short 3rd point! Hihi sorry it took so long. Been occupied with something last week so i haven't be able to visit here or even tumblr. and oh, next week back to utp. This saturday I mean. Well, ready or not. Bismillah, 3rd year here I come :)

I'm a big girl already (wow); alhanasabrina

So, 1st of May. (again!)

This time around it's different cause it's the 1st OGA (old girls association) day held in the new TKC situated at enstek. My oh my. It's hard getting there if you're a first timer cause there's absolutely no signage whatsoever. NO. Except for those hand made signs which just points straight on when we're like there there. Haha. Anyways I had a blast! Exploring (and commenting :p) the grounds, dorms, rooms, dining halls, classrooms, and the trees. Heee. Everything's new, so everything's interesting. I'll show you some pictures.

ALAAA I DIDN'T TAKE PICTURES OF THE DORMSSSS

Okay so basically, it's just a room w 8 beds and lockers. Kinda small for a dorm. But with cemented floor. That's why it felt so, empty and new when i stepped in just now. Their lockers are smaller too! But the rooms, esp in the f5 block, (they're using the International Baccalaureate block) all max 4/5 persons each room. And with their own tables inside. How convenient. And the house hicoms, they live INSIDE the lounges. Soooooo comfy! Lucky them. And they're not using the old bedsheets, the ones we had to straightened up every morning, they're using those with zips instead. So no more 'tegangkan bedsheet' for them. Hihi. But but, the curtains are hideous. Well, the green's are. Sad :(

Ooooh and they have wifi all around the college. And the modems are on each floor of their dorms! See how lucky they are? *cringe with jealousy* lol

The downside is just that, it's hotter and waaay bigger so it's more tiring. But sooner or later you have to get used to it cause you're studying there right?

Oh oh and, remember square? The place we used to have dates and watch netball games and practice our march past? IT'S AN OCTAGON NOW. Haha. With no benches (yet?) and instead of a netball court, it's a basketball court. Heh.

OKAY IDK WHY BLOGGER IS BEING SUCH A... I CAN'T UPLOAD PHOTOS :(

I want to share the fun

*sits in a corner* *cries*

Well I guess i'll try again next time (if I remember) inshaAllah!

Love you girls to bits, alhanasabrina

I had an epiphany. It is a circle. (And guilt trips are fine, trust me)

Generally, there are 2 ways of reacting to things. The right way and the wrong way. Too general? Let me break it down to you. Wait on second thought maybe I shouldn't. Any grown person who are reading this must know exactly what I mean. Ways to react to things: infinite possibilities. Categories they fall in to: right or wrong. There are no definite answers on which are right and which are wrong. Not helpful? Try reading this paragraph all over again. Your brain will tell you. (or else just comment below i'll be more than glad to try and enlighten you!)

What popped into my mind just now is that everything is a circle. A cycle I mean. A cycle that can be described with a circle. Tadaaaa! For example, day and night. Our earth. Our daily life, we go to work every morning, and then go back home every night when it ends. We study, we score for exams. We work get money, spend it and then work some more. We buy stuffs, it gets old, we replace it with a new one. We said something, we get sad, and then we go back to being A-okay again. And the list goes on and on. What I would like to emphasize that, everyone feels this way. Everyone experience this. Allah made it sure that everything in this world is balanced. Everything complements each other. (Although some people pushed the idea of fatness actually being shared all across the globe, means if you're getting skinny, someone else somewhere is getting fat. And I thought of that too, money wise. But it yet to be proven hihi). But please don't get any comfort in thinking that oh those rich people if they're more on that side then they're less on certain side. Please don't. Getting those are bad. As a hadith say

He (sallallâhû alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abû Dawûd]

It just brings diseases and black spots into your heart. And you could be called schadenfreude for goodness sake. You don't wanna be called that do you? 

Okay, back to the point. What I really wanna emphasize is that, whatever it is you're going through, just remember, THIS TOO SHALL PASS (ahh good old days when I had to present about this with pika in front of the class). But yeah, it is true. You may be on the downside of your cycle now, but who knows, sooner or later, inshaAllah, it's your time. Your turn to shine. ALTHOUGH maybe sometimes you'll get bored of your state now and flipped out out of impatience. And then comes the guilt trip and then you're back to being contented all over again. Wow I said that like I got it all figured out ey? Actually, it is quite the opposite. I battle with myself constantly, all year round. It is not raya or christmas where it's festive, applicable to certain phases of the year, I myself, dear readers, can go all year long. I'm like summer in Malaysia. Get it, get it? Lol.. Anyhoo, I just got back from a guilt trip to Swiss. Not a good one actually. This is the one where I go all cold like Spring this year in UK, all snowy and stuffs and had to sleep it off to actually get back to default. Alhamdulillah i'm all better now, thanks to Allah, I can truly say.

So, points from this blabbery post

1) React wisely. Don't flip out. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind, sometimes it could be nasty. Do good while you can. Don't be a schadenfreude. Hehe

2) Guilt trips are good. It lets you experience things and takes you to places you've never been before. But remember to come home! 

3) I'll save this for the next post. Just remembered that I hadn't put it in here.(gosh I blab too much)


Everything that is good comes from Allah, the One and only and everything that's bad comes from your truly.

alhanasabrina xx

Expectations, Hopes and Dreams

It's normal for people to have a weight or you can say responsibilities upon them, being the typical are - to study hard and get good results, to portray good manners, to be able to dress well and cover our aurahs, and so on. And it is important that they are not only given the task to do, but also the aid that will help them achieve that task. I can say that i've been living under the pressure of scoring well in my exams since i was small, and trust me, it does not stop. It has become a norm to me that i feel like it's programmed into me. Well apart from that is my parent's ultimate wishlist for me (next to becoming a good, solehah daughter), i myself too want to see myself as someone worthy, someone who is capable of achieving things. Not just becoming a living person on earth, just like some other 26 billion people.

And to do that, it is not an easy journey. You have to be able to learn new things, and absorb them fast as the world nowadays can be whizzing past you with you even noticing it. Not to mention the everyday drama, or the day-to-day routine that sometimes get our bodies numb and allows us to succumb to our #1 desire - procrastination. Being 24/7 productive is a hard task and blimey, it takes a strong person to be able to put up that mask every second too! So you need to learn how to manage your time wisely, which are translated by us, the 20s as "last minute errands" or "wait, just an episode" which later turns out to be a whole freaking season of it! Not good. And exercising takes a huge chunk in producing an all rounder student, whether you like it or not. I'm still working on that because I deffo hate going out to jog having to wear my shawls and so on thats why i exercise most when i'm home. Need to work on that. Haha.

A huge problem which I can clearly see in myself in the need for us ladies to shop. Ahh, this. A problem I can't find a cure for, yet! Maybe being in a secluded place like Tronoh (in my case) prevents me from going nuts whenever that famous brand goes on sale but having those online shops, shudders, just gets me. But i guess the cure is to be content of whatever you have and DON'T, i repeat DON'T ever try and scroll through those online blogs. It's a disease and once you got it, it takes an empty bank account to finally cure you from it. You don't want that do you?

Last but not least, the spiritual link. Everything you do, everything you own, even you yourself, won't exist if it weren't for Allah so do what you have to do, or need to do but don't ever, EVER forget Him. And your family too. They're your base so stick to it.

Actually i'm freaking out for this coming 3rd year cause i've been on a holiday for so long now i swear i wont ever want any holiday like this ever. Lol of course I do but this holiday makes me feel less smart. Lemme get that degree first before thinking of any plans of a holiday okay? insyaAllah

alhanasabrina xx

How Bizarre

Just some earcandy for you today <3 br="">

How bizarre it is that we tend to overlook the things that are important to us and then one day when it's gone, it's the one thing that we need the most. It doesn't happen to all, only to some but it is clearly bizarre.

How bizarre it is that someone that we hate so much and later on be our bestest friend and all the sour memories can be laughed off when they talk about it. It doesn't happen to all, only to some but it is clearly bizarre.

How bizarre it is that the more a person ignores you the more you want his/her attention. Maybe it's true that man only want what he can't have. It doesn't happen to all, only to some but it is clearly bizarre.

How bizarre it is when you want to use something and you can swear the thing is not in it's place but when finally you don't want it, you see it lying around. It is somewhat bizarre and also annoying.

How bizarre it is when you finally found a parking spot not too close from the entrance after 15 minutes of searching, you saw an empty spot just beside the entrance while you were walking towards the entrance. It is somewhat bizarre and also very annoying.

Okay now I can't look at the word bizarre and feel weird. That's bizarre as well. They way words tend to look weird everytime we overuse it or repeatedly use it.

alhanasabrina

Bye now

It's been on my mind for a while now that i need to surpress the provocative side of me. It's in my brain somewhere, oh more than glad to be let out but no i'm not gonna let it. Well recently i let it get the hang of me and i ended up bawling my eyes out for the rest of the day out of guilt. It's always here, in my brain lingering and forming up words that can well, provoke people. And it's not in a good way. But don't misjudge me as an evil person, always scheming and trying to ruin people's day. I can just say that i'm not like that. It's just maybe this thing is my weakness. (Gosh can't believe i told you guys that, now you guys can scheme and go against me lol)

Maybe if i could turn it into something positive i'll give the chance for it to breathe air. It could yknow, with practice and guidance. But for now i'm keeping it locked up like Melanie in Wanda's brain. Get it? It's from The Host. Haven't read it? Well go. NOW.

Promise you, it won't fail you :)

alhanasabrina xx

Strong Suit

I guess this is it. I am happy, i really am. I simply cannot ask for more. But evidently, with every happiness there's always something missing if you looked. It doesn't bother me much, wait, it does, but life had taught me enough to not dwell on sadness so much. Either it'll consume you, or you'll be consumed in it.

It's sad, really. Cause I never thought we'd be here. Like this. Both of us are happy now, but we lost each other in the process. I know, I can't help it but to blame myself cause I took the first step, but along the way, i wondered, why? Could this thing end differently? All that's left are questions without answers because my friend, time can't be turned back.

I always thought the reason is because we can't just be friends. Or maybe, we weren't friends in the first place. Or maybe something else that i'm just too blind to see. That's just sad. It's a shame really, cause we made such good partners. Not in that sense. Just by being bestfriends. But i guess that's not for us.

Thoughts while listening to Blind by Lifehouse.

Carry on, i'm perfectly fine; alhanasabrina :)

Story Of My Life

Here I am, sitting on Kino's floor reading Sarah Dessen's Just Listen because I left my book at my station in Petrosains. Talking about desperate measures huh? I just am so very grateful for the BB1M as it makes everyone - even those who seldom reads - read! Alhamdulillah :)

Okay, break time's over. Later fellas.

alhanasabrina :)

Thoughts for today

Saya rasa, jika jodoh sudah sampai semuanya akan menjadi senang. Walaupun seseorang itu tidak mencari (secara zahir) tetapi jodoh akan datang juga akhirnya (kerana, let's face the truth, siapa yg tidak mencari jodoh? :p)

Al kisah seorang wanita yang saya boleh gambarkan sifatnya seperti seorang yang sangat periang, mampu memberi senyuman kepada sesiapa yang berbicara dengannya. Dengan celotehnya yang menggelikan hati serta lawak dan ekspresi muka yang priceless gitu, mampu membuat perut seseorang itu hendak terburai rasanya disebabkan terlampau kelakar. Akan tetapi, masih tiada yang punya.

Ceh. Hahahahahhaha

Okay kesimpulannya, the first time they met was when they went out in groups, two unknown groups from two different companies, merging for an expedition somewhere. Then they went out again, the same two groups to bukit cerakah for an outing. This was 3 months ago. Then, on the girl's birthday, the guy sent her a huge bouquet of roses and some chocolates. I mean, who would have ever expected that? They were texting like normal people, talking bout normal stuffs, i guess. Then when january came, he asked for her hands in marriage and they both agreed. And the wedding is to be held this sept! I mean only 3 months after they met they got engaged, and then 7 months after that they are supposed to get married. I mean, Alhamdulillah for her, that Allah has chosen him to be the guy for her and in a such beautiful and simple way.

But then, some people have it all planned out. Like they went out for a couple of years but then still ended up married, that is also as sweet as the above. Just yknow, the hard part will be the waiting.

Just the downside of the 1st one is to plan the wedding in a such short notice. Even my mum wants me to book the date a year in advanced. Oops :p

Just my thoughts for today. Oh yes, for those who are celebrating, Happy CNY to all :D

alhanasabrina

You have to watch Dakota Skye

"Predictable doesn’t always mean boring.
Lust doesn’t always mean love.
Near doesn’t always mean close.
New doesn’t always mean exciting.
Different doesn’t always mean better.
Far doesn’t always mean distant.
Knowing everything doesn’t make you wise.
Knowing the truth doesn’t make you superior.
Knowing your problem doesn’t solve it.
Sitting between your past and your future doesn’t mean you’re in the present"

Something about this movie just gets me. Either that or I'm just loving it cause it's another love movie that I picked out from Tumblr.

And it has the famous love quote which isn't the one I posted here. Well I guess you have to watch it for yourself to know it right? 

Watch it, and tell me about it okay?

alhanasabrina xx

Treadmill

Countless thoughts acted upon, random craves became normal, sudden urges fulfilled, plates of delicacies swallowed, places travelled, days slept in doing nothing, money spent recklessly, all I ever did was give in to myself. I caved to all of my desires, wishes, and wants.

Maybe it's time to fight myself.

Oh love

I'm such a sucker for love movies. Sappy, cliché, romantic love movies. Just this morning I was looking to find a chic flick love movie to watch and I stumbled upon Love Actually. For those who haven't watched it, please do. Please please. With the ever charming Hugh Grant innit, you can never go wrong. And it's in England too, which adds more 'awwh' factor to it. Who doesn't love a movie jammed packed with British slang all along the way? I know I do :)

alhanasabrina

The usual 2012-2013 post. Teehee

Assalamualaikum fellow readers :)

Ahhh, what a splendid day mashaAllah the weather is very nice today don't you think? Well i'm talking about here in Tronoh of course since i have yet to finish my finals in couple of days. What other ways i want to start of a new right? (Not!) As Shahirah tweeted, as a UTP student you tend to celebrate your new years every year in UTP, battling finals. I have been in that torment since let me see, foundation i guess so this year's the 3rd year i guess. Ah well it doesn't matter much to me since i don't celebrate new years at all sooo. If you're lucky like some final year students, maybe you'll manage to finish off your last paper (ever!) like them on the 30th Dec means by new years you'll be free as a bird! Well, free, unemployed and pay-less. The only downside of finishing your studies is that. There are a lot of plus sides which includes raising your own money and the hot topic nowadays, marriage :p ah well, i wouldnt want to go into that topic much further. If my time is here then in syaAllah i'll accept it with warm hands :) (more like excited hands to be exact!)

So, my highlights of 2012?

Jan
Finished finals
Europe holidaaaaaay :D

Feb
Petrosains? Yeah pretty much
Outings since i'm on hols
Laser taaaag!

March
11th :)
Induction - the only girl! Mayn tough life
Went for f1! Lol there's more to that
Went for kl-utp-penang trip, alone :D

April
4 bestfriends outing :) ikea-seoul garden-fullhouse lol all food
Birth of Harvey :)
Tapestry of colours w Izzul

May
OGA day! Last year in bukit merbah tsk tsk
And back to utp! Brought Taylor
And you :)

June
Mummy back from dubai :D
Bandung trip hehe

july-august-sept
2nd 1st :)
Raya
Open house :)

Sept
Perth (phew, 3 vacays in a year? Alhamdulillah :))
Met lovely Kate Middleton and Prince William :D

Oct
2nd 2nd
Ustaz don live in UTP :D
Results, alhamdulillah :)
Convofair

Nov
Slurpee bring-your-own-cup day!
Birthdaaaaay!
Fiqh of Salah Al Maghrib seminar :)

December
May '10 Colourblocking theme dinner
Your birthday :)

I would love to include pichaas but i'm blogging from my phone. I know i can insert em but too lazy, might as well study. Just a quick note, Alhamdulillah i've been blessed to have the opportunity to meet new friends these past year, but terminated some as well :/ sigh. And also am blessed to be able to travel quite a lot, saw some new scenes and lived some new but exciting lifestyle for a bit, experience new stuffs, learn a lot and mostly change to be better (i hope), bit by bit, please do pray for me so that i'll be istiqamah in this. Towards the end all you gotta do is pray pray and pray. Believe in Allah and insyaAllah you'll be fine. Play by His rules, you'll be fine as well.

Oh wait, 2013 resolutions?
Be more - in terms of in this world and hereafter
Smile more, frown less
Lose weight! (Every. Single. Year!!!)
Less online shopping? Ahaha we'll see bout that. Thank you MARA! Lol

Forever grateful for loving parents, friends and companions. Alhamdulillah. I wish i would never take any of them for granted, esp my parents. They're my gems :') And to you, meeting you of course is one of my favourite highlights of the year. Hopefully you'll be part of my future too :)

Jazakumullah khair for sticking w me dear readers, i've love and i've lost, gain some and lose some but never regretted any cause without every single one of it i wouldn't be where i am today and who i am today. May Allah bless all of you and ease 2013 for y'all. (Lol)

Much love, alhanasabrina

P/s: please pray for my last paper for my second year this thurs, thank youuuuu :D