Mademoiselle

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Hi! I'm Sabrina, a 25 year old wanderer. This where I write about things that are relevant to my life whether big or small, mostly about my feelings towards things. All things posted are strictly my take on things unless written otherwise. Happy reading!

Friday, April 7, 2017

Manpower

For all of those who know, for the last month I have been working with a recruitment company. I loved every single moment of it. No lie. I totally love it. Obviously there have been days when I first started where I'll be like "what am I doing here, it's not even in my field." But I decided to go on with it and commit for the 6 months that I am (supposedly) contracted for. Within the first week itself I fell in love with recruitment and enjoyed going to work every single day (except for the fact that I have to wake up early, I mean who enjoys that?!) Anyway, safe to say that working with Manpower was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. 

My boss(es) are uber cool, and I feel so supported and welcomed from day one. I constantly feel uplifted and inspired to perform well in my job. Colleagues are fun, full of energy and the job is even more so. I get to scout for potential candidates, screen resumes, talk to them and even made friends. The feeling that you get when one of them gets hired... priceless. I feel like I'm finally contributing something to the world.

On top of that, there's casual Fridays - which I absolutely LIVE for, and you're technically working in a mall, which is super awesome (read: unlimited lunch ideas). 

The only downside is, today is my last day working with them. I had to leave due to reasons, you know (I don't want to mention them here). But believe me when I say, I didn't wanna leave. Nope. I really wished that I am not in this position right now. But I really had to do this for myself, and I totally owe this to myself. 

To the company, I appreciate every single thing that you have done for me and I hope nothing but the best for the company in the future. One day I will definitely look back and proudly say that, that is the company I first worked for and helped me to be who I am now. Wait for it. 

Yours,
Alhana

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Why You Can't Afford to Be Lazy

You can't really afford to be lazy, not even one second of our life but we do it anyway, right? Guilty right here *raises hand up*

Ok but first, let me just say this, its been almost a year since my last post and a lot of things happened. Well it has been a year... Lol and the presence of social medias led to people letting things out there instead of typing it all away here but why not? People are still blogging you know. && deep down i still have my soft spot for my blog right here. But so far so good alhamdulillah I am done with my masters, ready to jump in the working life bandwagon anytime soon! Hehe but yes since i have some free time here, and having these free time makes me realise that you don't actually have any time at all... because there's just so much things to doooooo so ok let me start.

As i was saying, we as humans can't afford to be lazy. Especially if you're a girl. Well that doesn't mean that if you're a guy you can be lazy, just that you can be a bit lazier than us girls. Why, you ask? Bcs we apparently have dozens more things to do than you! hahaha i sound a bit feminist there but okay okay maybe i don't really know the world of guys and their fantasy football. But here's some of the reasons why we need to be up on our feet almost 24 hours in our day (both men and women okay);

1) wake up: shower and for most of us its at the crack of dawn when we're just about to enter the sweet sweet world of dreams, sigh... another day in paradise! Off to work. before that, BREAKFAST! no breakfast for the lazy people! and its so easy to get carried away and just grabbing the nasi lemak when you're supposed to be watching your calories... ehem. Which is still nonexistent if you're lazy to go out and search for the nasi lemak but please, don't skip your breakfast. Have at least a banana. Your body will thank you. Don't get me started on the getting ready time. We girls take forever to get ready. For some girls who are confident enough to go out without makeup, I salute you *claps*. But for us other girls, we need the extra time to prep ourselves, iron our clothes, make sure that it is matching with the rest of our attire and it takes a lot of energy and you definitely cannot be lazy to look nice. Hello, you keep looking at all those girls and celebrities on Instagram and be like "aww they're so pretty" so why can't you just spend some extra minutes on yourself so that you can look as pretty as them too? Well for guys, you just have your hair. BUT I know some guys who take way longer than they should on their hair hahaha well if it makes you look good so what

2) if you're among the fortunate and don't have a 9 to 5 job, well you can have a few extra minutes of sleep and then you gotta be up as well because who will prepare breakfast for the rest of your family? IT'S YOU! especially if you're married with kids. You will definitely have to wake up early and prepare the kids. They need a lot of your time. Man, having kids is no joke. But nothing beats #momlife am i right? lol if you're not a mom probably have to send your sisters and brothers to school or prepare breakfast for your parents and sibs who are working haha exhibit A right here (but i can go to sleep afterwards so yay me)

Moving on after breakfast, 3) Preparing for lunch. Fortunately nowadays, healthy food are easy to come by. There are lots of food deliveries out there that can bring you food straight to your work, so we can afford to be a bit lazy there, but if you think about it, we can't be lazy, thats why we have food delivered. If not we will probably go out and eat somewhere. Your job is too important or too busy to leave during lunch. But you obviously need to take a break and go pray and this is where it gets hard. Remember all your makeup that you put on this morning? Yes its coming off and you don't wanna look like a zombie after you pray so girl you gotta put it back on. Yes. So much effort. No time to be lazy here.

For the moms with kids, maybe you have a bit of time here where the kids will take a nap but that is when you can clean the house. You do not want to live in a house so dirty and dusty but you can't afford to hire a maid all the time! So chop chop, go and get the vacuum. And although you can say that it only takes like what 20-30 minutes (for one area of your house) but it is YOUR HOUSE. Obviously you want it clean so if you're the OCD type, you will definitely take more time than that. My mum always say do not do your work like a housemaid. What she means is, although the housemaids job is to clean the house, thats not her house. So she probably won't clean it as best as she could you know. Do you get what I mean? 

4) After work: dinner... and maybe exercise. This is the hard part. We can easily eat non-stop but when it comes to exercising, ugh. Y SO LAZY. But quoting Kendal Jenner in her 73 Questions interview, "this body doesn't do itself" so you need to move your lazy ass to the gym and work out.  If not, do it first thing when you get home. For the super goers, you can try waking up early to get a fresh start for your day! Atleast 30 minutes. Again, your body will thank you. I know its easier said than done, and i myself have problems sticking to my workout routine, but once you see results, you'll be thankful you ain't lazy. 

5) Finally home. Nope, you can't sleep yet. I know you feel like your every is hitting zero, and fast. Trust me , i've been there. MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS BODY. You need to remove your clothes and go shower. After all the work and exercise, you wanna sleep in that condition? Please don't. You will feel worse tomorrow so you need to shower and then do the laundry, and then if you're cooking at home, do the dishes, wipe the hob, and finally almost there, you have to clean up your face and brush your teeth and and floss it and be pretty so that you will look presentable for your husband at night LOL ok not really for him but you get the idea right? I mean who has all that time? sometimes i can barely take off my jeans and i'll be all Zzz already hahaha Not forgetting the Korean skin care regime for your face. 10. freaking. steps. I mean WOW no wonder their face are so flawless and pretty oh well a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do 

think about it. being a girl, you have to take care of your body, your hair (even with hijab ok you need to look good for yourself, husband is optional :p), your face, your nails, your attire, your smell && everything including how you speak eat talk hahahahahaha but its super fun being a girl, you get to dress up and act girly teehee

PHEW

BUT THATS NOT ALL. these are just basics if you are living a normal life. Well, face it none of us are normal. Cause we got loads of other stuff to do. Like blogging, or some of you who read, or bake or do some extra odd jobs so you need to fill that extra hours with work too! And yes cleaning up the toilet as you go, throwing out the trash, piling up the clean dishes from yesterday, hanging up the clothes when its ready from the machine, preparing breakfast for tomorrow (so you finally can have something to eat in the morning), folding clothes from yesterday, planning what to wear tomorrow, buying groceries, paying the bills... and the list goes on and on and on. Not to mention if you have a big event coming up like a birthday party, a bachelorette party, an engagement, a wedding, you need to find time to plan all those! And your calendar, you need to get it sorted, make sure you get the dates right, whether or not you tally with your partner/spouse, keeping up with all the non work related unread emails. Man it's hard to be human. 

Enough ranting for now because i know by now you definitely get what i mean, right? Being unemployed for the time being gives me a whole new meaning of time. Once i start working, i know i will not have this much time anymore. So there will be extra pressure to do things i used to do when everybody else is working during the limited time that everybody else also have. Wait, i think the last sentence doesn't really make sense hmm

And blogger seriously need some emoji love right about now. I feel so lifeless typing without emoji lol ok bye now

pls pray that alhana gets a job soon thank you

xx alhana

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Looking Back

2015 was a great year. Well the ending might seem a little sad, but i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be right now. In the UK and technically all alone. Being alone is not bad, it's actually rewarding to the soul. But I'm not gonna touch on that. Bcs eventhough I am all alone, i'm contented with my life. And i'm perfectly happy with that. 

At the end of the year 2014, I said to myself, I'm going to make a project that'll last the whole year. A 365 days project, something that I can be disciplined in doing. And my project was to snap at least a photo a day and save it so that i can train myself to photograph things more. And i said why not, since the year 2015 is the year that a lot of significant things happened in my life. Alhamdulillah! 

To name a few: I graduated from UTP (5 awesome years), my sister got married and now carrying a little bundle of joy inside of her (isn't that just amazing mashaAllah!), I went to the UK to pursue my masters (it's the dream alhamdulillah), my convocation (one of the best days of my life), and i lost the person that i thought i was gonna spend the rest of my life with (sounds a bit dramatic eh?). Everything was planned except for the last one. Allah knows better and i believe that He is the best planner :)

Who did i try to lie when I thought that I was just gonna be gone for a year and when I come back next year it'll all be the same? That i'm just gonna pick up stuffs right where i left it? The moment I made the decision to come here I knew that things aren't gonna be the same anymore. And the events that came after I left proved it. It's been what, 3 and half months since I left home? (not counting the 5 brief days of me coming back) and I simply can't believe that i've been away from my mum for this long. OK i'm not one to always stay at home all this while but I usually go back every once a month or so during high school and my uni days. And to think that i'll still be away from her for the next 9 months or so? May Allah protect her and my family back home. It's going to be super hard, but i'll have to manage, like i always do :)

I once said to this person, one year is not that long. Just pretend that i'm going to take a year off off life. Easier said than done eh? The break up broke me. But it made me realise who i am as a person without having to have these labels on me. If anything, it helped me connect better with Allah, the one *person* (can i say that?) that is always with me no matter what. But i'm not giving up on love, obviously :p

Albeit all the things that has happened, I can say that it made me more matured and a family person. I have never been this clingy to my parents (esp my mum) before and i wonder why i havent been this way from the very start. It'll definitely save me from a whole lot of troubles but i don't regret anything that has happened. Coming here just may be the best decision i have ever made (for now :p). I get to leave my bubble and extend my circle of friends. It is truly a blessing just to be here, alhamdulillah for that. 

Well here's to 2016, the year where people will start asking questions and i can answer it with THIS YEAR! I can't wait for 2016, i'm sure it's gonna be amazing inshaAllah :)

Love, Alhana x

Thursday, December 10, 2015

three and one half

write it all
write it all down
bcs atleast when it all ends
you had prove that it actually happened 
and changed your life forever

x

Saturday, August 29, 2015

i found this

either you will be aware of your happiness
and enjoy it with all your senses

or you will ignore that and look elsewhere for what you think you are lacking
in which case you will fall prey to complaining and discontent

in that case, wait until this present becomes past

then you will weep and realise
how happy you were at that time
but you did not realise it
now you have nothing left but fading memories


i think i wrote this, or i copied it from somewhere. either or, cherish the happy moments in your life while it lasts. dont take this life lightly, as you'll regret it when you're older

xx

Friday, December 19, 2014

Fiery Hands

Something happened for the first time yesterday. My hands were like on fire, and I can't stay still. I can feel the heat radiating through my fingers yet other people can't even see my pain. It was excruciatingly painful, I can't even come close to expressing it. It's like a hundred it you ask me to rate it from 1-10. I tried everything, from water to oil, even detergent, toothpaste, shower gel, any liquids you name it I've tried it, it won't go away. Finally after hours of trying (and a whole lot of ice!) it finally died down and my hands are mine again. Alhamdulillah. It was all a battle to test my mental ability, whether I am strong enough to overcome the pain, bcs its just internal pain, it's not a wound that is exposed or bleeding. And I said to myself, if I can go through that, I can go through anything, if Allah wills it. 

Darn you extra hot chilies.

Now who's up for some sambal? :B

xx alhana

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Past, Present and Future

There are reasons why i love the people that i love, be it in the past, present, or the future. 

To the people i loved in the past, though i might not love you now, or as i would like to say it, i might not have the chance to show it now, i would like to say thank you. Thank you for the chance for loving you, and I'm sure that loving you have given me a chance if not to be better as a person, atleast being better in loving someone by learning how to love you. And by that being said, it's an honor to have someone like you to own a piece of my heart (tho that's not how it's supposed to be) and cross path with. May you be well, and find love that is true and good for you. I may never love you again, or love you the way you want me to, or simply just because we are not meant to end up with each other, but your face, or just your name will certainly bring up if not a memory, a ping in my brain. 

To the people i love now, i pray that this heart is capable of loving you in the many many years to come. Hopefully, this love of mine is enough for you to stay and not go astray as this heart loves, it loves with all its might. And because of this love came from a mere human being, it is not excused from making mistakes. Bear with me and may you experience a love that you have never felt before with anyone else, and that is truly my aim, if not making you happy, that is the one thing i would like to achieve with you. For i hope you will be my only love from now on, and i hope you feel the same. I pray that you don't get jealous of my past loves, and also my future loves, because now is all that matters, and right now, i am in love with you. It is truly wonderful, to be loved by someone else wholeheartedly, even if you have been loved by someone else before, every love feels different in some way. And i hope i made the most difference in your life by loving you. 

To the people i will love in the future, i may not know you now, or i may just dislike you a little bit now (it's mean to use the word hate), but i know when i love you, i will love you wholeheartedly. We will love each other with happiness, kindness and strength. The love we have will make us go "why haven't we met before?" or "why didn't we meet sooner?". And believe me when i say if we did meet before, we wont love each other as much as we will when we finally meet. Certainly Allah works in mysterious ways. He put together two hearts when He feel like its time and it will be perfect. So bear with the time, be patient, and our time will come. If not now then when? Let us make the question linger in our mind for a little while shall we? 

We learn as we grow, and as we grow, we love. May Allah bless all the love that we had, we still have, and will have. 

Alhana Sabrina xx

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

post-weekend

although i'm so getting used to being the only child around, it is always always wonderful to get together as a family (duh)

and although i'm already getting used to do things on my own, been in boarding sch since i'm 13, now i'm 22, but i'll never ever get tired of being their daughter (duh again)

well just so you know, I had an amazing weekend, from the family reunion, watching captain america (met super old crush!!!) and the F1 experience with big sister. Totally worth it :)


family >>>>

alhana

Monday, March 17, 2014

Today, i almost fainted. I can feel the darkness creeping slowly, blinding me, but i had the strength to stop it before it engulfs me whole. 

And today is the day that i wore eyeliner to work. Tough luck.

Xx, alhana

Friday, March 14, 2014

Long Enough

I came to realise one thing tonight.

As much as you hate it, this world is a big freaking huge cycle. Tonnes of people live and die every day, thousands repeat the same routine for days and weeks and sometimes the repetition duration can extend to years long. No matter how far you go, how low you fall, you'll always eventually arrive right back where you started. Maybe not in the same way you were, but still, you're there, again. 

This means that in life, you should know who you really are and what you stand with. Stick to it, because it will determine where you end up at the end.

And I, just arrived back to where i started.

alhana xx